It all starts with the eyes.
Your eye contact is a part of your overall body language. Just like body language, eye contact is non-verbal yet so powerful.
For many people, eyes are just eyes. You see with them. They are different colors. Some have big eyes and some have smaller ones. And that’s that. But there’s so much more.
Your eyes communicate your thoughts and feelings.
- The way you look at someone.
- How long you stare.
- The amount of eye contact you have.
Your eyes convey a wide range of emotions and feelings.
What Eye Contact Can Do For You
Believe it or not, your eyes are not just for seeing.
Your eyes can be used to influence, to show power and dominance, and convey confidence. You can be the alpha male if you use the right type of eye contact.
But with weak eye contact, you can also be beta. With weak eye contact, you can end up being disrespected, taken advantage of or be seen as weak or uncertain.
Understanding the different types of eye contact and what to use in different situations is key. It’s essential to educate yourself if you want to have alpha male eye contact.
Having the good eye contact can separate you from the masses. You don’t even need to have alpha male eye contact to be seen as dominant and a leader, you just need better eye contact.
The problem with a lot of people is they don’t think enough about eye contact to actually care. They just accept whatever eye contact habits they have and go with it.
What You Can Convey With Alpha Male Eye Contact
Before we get into the details of the types of eye contact and when to use them, I really want to help you guys realize how important having strong eye contact is.
Just like with your body language, your fashion, voice tone and the other intangibles (your mentality), your eye contact helps convey who you are.
Do you want to be seen as a leader? Do you want to be seen as a confident alpha male? An attractive guy that exudes confidence?
Or do you want to be seen as a coward. Someone that is shy, scared, and fearful. Do you want people to doubt your abilities to be a leader? Do you want girls to see you as weak?
Eye contact changes how you feel about yourself and how people see you.
You guys are going to have an advantage over others by understanding alpha male eye contact. This can be used by both males and females. (Yes, females can be alpha – there are many of them!)
So think about it for a moment. How do you want people to feel about you. Who do you want to be.
Your eyes are a tool. Not only are they used to see. But they are used to change perceptions and create emotions and feelings not only for yourself, but for others.
The Characteristics of Alpha Eye Contact
What do you think about when you hear alpha male eye contact?
Alpha male eye contact is bold and powerful. If I had to describe it, I would say it is a mix of intense and strong.
The main characteristics of good eye contact is simple. It includes –
- Not being afraid to make eye contact and not afraid to hold it
- Ability to look other people in the eyes when you are talking to them or listening to them speak
The Characteristics of Beta Male Eye Contact
Sadly, beta male eye contact can be described as weak, creepy, shy and dismissive. The characteristics include –
- Avoiding eye contact
- Looking away, looking down – essentially looking anywhere but in the eyes of someone else
- If a beta male stares, they stare too long that it becomes creepy
- Looking out of the corner of your eyes so no one can see that you are really looking at them (like you are peaking)
- Walking with your head down
- Afraid to make eye contact because you believe it might cause a confrontation or you might get “caught” looking
Beta male eye contact is very cowardly and should be avoided at all costs.
We will not go into too much more detail about beta male eye contact but if you have any of the above eye contact characteristics, you should consider working on obtaining alpha male eye contact.
Types of Eye Contact
You can see alpha male and beta male eye contact all around you. You might be able to tell the difference but you also might not.
Eye contact is all around us. At work, out and about in the city, even when you look in the mirror.
Let’s break down the different types of eye contact and when to use each. Note that the way we describe and categorize eye contact is probably different than most.
It is my belief that there are several types of eye contact that can be used in different situations.
Powerful (dominant) Eye Contact
This eye contact is more serious than many of the other alpha male eye contact categories.
With dominant eye contact, you not only exude confidence but power.
To have dominant eye contact you need to really focus in on your target that you’re looking at. This requires you to hold eye contact for longer periods of time than you normally would.
When you look at someone you shouldn’t have big wide eyes. Your eyes should be opened however they are naturally or even with a little squint.
The key to powerful/dominant alpha male eye contact is to not be afraid to start making eye contact right away.
This means when you enter a room, look people in the eyes as you greet them. When you ask them a question, you look them in the eyes and hold it while they respond.
When to use dominant eye contact:
- Use for serious conversations and in serious situations
- Corporate environments when there is a meeting that you want to be taken seriously
- When you are scanning a room or observing – using this sort of eye contact is good
- Whenever you want to be in a more dominant position than your counterpart that you communicating to
1 on 1 Talking Eye Contact
Depending on the interaction 1 on 1 talking eye contact can use the powerful eye contact or a more laid back eye contact that conveys interest and understanding.
In one on one conversations you want to show that you are listening. That’s the main goal.
The secondary goal of this type of eye contact is that it can be used to persuade or influence someone. You can use it to make someone feel comfortable and build a connection with them.
Like powerful / dominant alpha eye contact, you want to be comfortable making and holding eye contact with the individual you’re with.
The difference here is you want to be able to break eye contact once in awhile (look away) and look back at them. This will help make the interaction less tense and serious.
Lastly, you want to change the size of your eyes (and nod in agreement once in awhile) as you are listening. This gives off a sense of interest and showing that you’re in the moment listening.
Don’t make your eyes super big or super small. Just let them naturally change sizes as though you just heard some really exciting news. Try that out.
When to use 1-1 eye contact:
- When you are having a personal conversation with one other person
Group Eye Contact
Group eye contact isn’t as difficult as some people think it is.
You want to look at everyone in the group as you talk to keep everyone interested. Hold eye contact with the individual you’re really trying to talk to for a big longer.
Glance back and forth at everyone – it will keep everyone’s attention.
If you need to make more dominant eye contact then just stare at one individual with the dominant eye contact or slowly look everyone in the eyes (don’t jump around so fast).
When to use group eye contact:
- In group settings
- When you want to keep everyone’s attention as you are talking to them or telling them a story
Listening Eye Contact
When someone is talking to you, you want to make sure you give off the impression that you are listening (even if you aren’t).
Alpha males, leaders, compassionate individuals all know that making someone feel important is the way to gain power and influence over them.
Listening eye contact requires you to talk with your eyes. You need to look at the other person that is talking. Shake your head in agreement and understanding.
Try not to look away for too long or look away in disinterest. Even if you don’t care for what the other person is saying, the goal is to make them believe you do.
You will get more out of giving a positive impression that you care and you made the other person feel important than you would by just showing you don’t care.
When to use listening eye contact:
- When someone is having a conversation with you
- When you want to try to build a relationship with someone and gain influence
Intimidating Eye Contact
This dominant eye contact not only uses the eyes but your facial expression.
The easiest way to describe it is you need to have a pretty serious look on your face, like you’re upset (eye brows down). And you stare.
The death stare. Think of Mike Tyson when you think of the intimidating eye contact.
When to use intimidating eye contact:
- When you’re pissed off
- If you want to scare someone or call someone out
- When there’s a confrontation
Curious Eye Contact
If you want to show excitement or curiosity then make your eyes bigger than normal. A smile or grin won’t hurt either.
Using this eye contact skill will not only make you seem more interested and on your toes but it will get others excited as well.
When to use curious eye contact:
- When you are genuinely curious about something
- When someone is telling a story and you need to convey you’re really interested
Seductive Eye Contact
This is one of the more important types of eye contact.I rank this one up there with powerful eye contact and listening eye contact.
Seductive eye contact is all about gazing deep into the eyes with a little squint (very small).
The best way to create sexual tension with the eyes is to make eye contact and break it by looking down, and then looking back into the eyes of someone else.
If you are with someone and close to them, looking them in the eyes then down at the lips and back in the eyes also helps create tension.
When to use seductive eye contact:
- When you want to create sexual tension
It’s All In The Eyes
Your eyes are very powerful. Remember that.
Eyes are more than just for seeing. They are used to show power, confidence and can make you seem likable and influential. It can also do the opposite.
Learn the different types of eye contact and use them when appropriate. Focus on having strong alpha male eye contact.