Take Control of Your Life

A lot of you guys come to this website looking for help. Many for body language help. Others for the mental aspect of being alpha vs. beta. Whatever it is, you can find the answer here.

Unfortunately, I’m getting a lot of messages that being alpha is too difficult. I’m going to copy and paste a short email I got just to prove my point (sorry to A.F. for posting this)


Your site is exactly what I need. I’ve been shy and passive my entire life. It look me a long time before I got my first kiss and even longer before I got my first girlfriend. I’m talking like I was 30 years old when I realized I was in some trouble. 

Finally, I’ve found a site that lays it all out there. Honest and real. I really like your style of writing. But here’s my problem. I’m close 36 going on 37 now and I’m not getting any younger. 

What’s the quickest way to getting my life on track and becoming the elusive alpha male I want to become?



This is a great email. I really enjoy every single email I get. From the guys that just want to give their gratitude to the site to the guys that have questions or comments about the content. All emails are welcomed at tobealpha@tobealpha.com.

AF, thanks for the kind words. But you raise an interesting question.

What is the quickest way to being alpha?

I don’t like to put a timeframe on becoming alpha. The reason is because everyone is different. You start from where you start and you learn and change at a different pace than everyone else. No two people are the same. Not even two alpha males. 

What I can tell you is that you can learn the foundations of being alpha very quickly. But implementing everything, including changing how you think and react, how you talk and your body language… all those things take time and practice.

The goal here is not to make you an alpha for a day. It’s to make you a better man for the rest of your life.

So really, to answer your question, the quickest way to being alpha is to have the right resources and be determined as F that you want to make this happen. Only then will you be able to become alpha.

Yes It Might Suck

The journey from beta to alpha isn’t all rainbows and whatever else they say. Sunshine? It’s going to be hard. 

But these are the sacrifices you have to make to get to the end. It’s the pain period that you learn the most. When you get frustrated and things aren’t working out the way you want, it’s easy to give up. When you act like a complete beta when you’re trying to be alpha, you might wonder why you even bother trying.

Honestly, I can tell you from first hand experience, there were plenty of times I could have just quit and gone back to my simple life of average.

  • Trying to become more confident in all parts of my life when I kept second guessing myself sucked
  • Getting rejected by girls when I was trying to get a pair of balls was terrible
  • Getting in shape took so much time and hard work
  • Changing how I dressed felt weird
  • Acting more boldly and changing my body language felt so unnatural

All of these things and plenty more. They all sucked. But you know what? I knew that if I just kept my head down and put in the work, life would be better.

I believed in the short-term sacrifice of going through this frustration for the long-term goal of living the life I wanted. And that’s what I want you to try to do.


You need resources to be alpha. I’m not going to lie to you and say “You don’t need any guidance, just go be alpha little beta”, because it doesn’t work that way. Everyone needs to learn from someone. Whether you use To Be Alpha as a resource or find someone else or another place as your “go to” resource, you need something to guide you.


Changing isn’t easy. You’ve thought and acted a certain way for your entire life. You think at a flip of the switch you can just be a different person? It rarely works that way. It takes time to integrate new habits and ways of thinking, eventually they will become routine.

What You Should Do

If your goal is really to be alpha, and I hope it is, then I suggest you figure out what your goals are first, then work on obtaining them.

It’s okay if you have multiple goals. I know I do. You can have goals for your career, for your body, for your relationships, for your bank account, for the way people treat you….goals for anything. Rank them.

Once you figure out what is important to you, find the right resources and guidance to help you do what you need to do to achieve what you want.

What You Must Remember

You can’t fix everything all at once. And that’s okay. This isn’t a race. This is about you. If you want to take shortcuts, that’s fine. Just know you might have to go back and redo somethings that you disregarded or didn’t fully work on at a later date.

The Goal. Always Remember The Goal.

Remember those goals you just ranked? Remind yourself of what you’re working towards ALL the time. You’ll need to remind yourself because it’s going to be tough. You’re going to want to quit. You’re going to want to give up and go back to your old life. It’s easier to do what you have always done than to try to change and be better.

Don’t be a loser and give up. Life is better on the alpha side.

The Last Thing You Must Remember

There are no shortcuts to being alpha. Put in the work. And reap the rewards for the rest of your life.

Be Alpha. 

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • XMarkx

    Yes, the alpha life is a wonderful life. To be alpha has been a very valuable resource that helped me get out of my once shitty beta life but to be quite honest, it wasnt an easy journey. Now my only problem is handling a little competition when there are also other “alphas” around which makes feel inadequate. Any tips on this? i would appreciate it much.

  • Harvey Tan

    i salute you for making this site . such icredible resource for us guys trying to be alpha this site is a gold mine duude! subscribing to your posts now and thinking of joinign your forum too. thanks dude

  • Greggy

    Hey man happy to see the site again. i still have a copy of your to be alpha guide and id say its totally worth it. shared it to a friend whose life also changed a great deal becaus of your guide. cheers to your site and looking forward to new stuff! do let me know.

    • Karl

      agree with you Greg. worth every penny. if you find the info on this site useful, you out to check out the to be alpha guide if you have 10 bucks to spare i guarantee it will change your life.