Take Control of Your Life

Calling someone a super beta male is a bit dramatic. Any sort of beta male is bad enough. To be called a super beta male. You might be in some trouble. You might need the help of To Be Alpha.

Before we know if you need to overhaul your life, let’s just make sure you’re a beta male.

If you answer yes to any of the following then you probably should consider making some big changes to your life to life a more fulfilling life.

You Might Be A Beta Male If… 

1. You wake up each morning unhappy with how your life is turning out. 

If yes, it’s time to make some changes.

2. You’re a dreamer. You like to use the words “I wish..”, “If only..”, “I don’t have..”,  “I would but..”

You won’t get far in life making excuses.

3. You’re afraid of change. Uncertainty and the unknown scare you.

If you keep doing what you have always done, you will get what you have always got.

4. You get emotional when things don’t work out your way.

When is the last time crying as an adult got you far in life?

5. You look at other people and wish you had their lives.

Instead of focusing on what other people have, find ways to get what you want.

6. You regret not doing things you want to do every day because you feel inadequate (jobs, girls, life, favors)

Stop searching for perfection. The cold hard truth is that no one is perfect. Be happy with what you got and get what you want.

7. You think trying is good enough.

You need to start having the winning mentality. Going to the gym and texting is not good enough. Staring at girls instead of talking to them is not good enough. Looking at job postings and not applying is not good enough. Day dreaming is not good enough.

8. You don’t hold yourself accountable

Instead of realizing you may be at fault or didn’t do what you were suppose to do, you try to blame something or someone else. It’s never your fault.

9. You don’t think you can do any better

You settle at life. This includes who you are, what you believe in, your career, your relationships, and your lifestyle.

10. You waste a lot of time

You know you should be taking action to take control of your life but instead of putting in the hard work you do things that make you feel good (watching tv, going out, surfing the internet or social media)

11. You complain, a lot. And it makes you feel better.

You’re a negative person and just want people to listen to how your life sucks and tell you they understand. You fail to realize that you might be the problem.

12. You want other people to hold your hand

You’re a follower. You don’t want to make the tough decisions because you’re afraid you’ll be wrong or things won’t go right. You want people to tell you what to do.

13. You’re a people pleaser

You’ll bend over backwards to help people. Not because you are nice. But because you secretly want something out of this. You keep score and expect favors to be returned.

14. You’re an online troll

In real life you’re a coward. But online you’re the biggest baddest guy in the world.

15. First you’re nice. Then you’re rude. Then you’re nice again.

You go through phases when you want something and can’t get it. You try being nice. When that doesn’t work, you get upset. Then realize you have to try being nice again.

16. You take the easy way out every chance you get

You’re always looking for short cuts or the magic pill. You thinking cheating the system is the way to go.

17. You have no sense of style

You dress like a “nice guy”. You don’t really think about what you wear or the image you convey. Chances are your style hasn’t changed in over 10 years.

18. You have nothing to look forward to

There is no excitement in your life or adventure on the horizon. What you have is what you will have. Forever.

19. You talk down on yourself

You lack self confidence. You think other people are better than you and because of this, you envy them.

20. You are never happy for other people

Instead of being happy for other people when they share good news, you secretly are upset that good things are not happening to you.

21. You hold grudges

Instead of moving on with your life when someone treats you bad or disrespects you, you seek revenge.

22. You talk behind people’s back

You pretend to be everyone’s friend but then go behind their back and talk about them to others. You put on a front that you are a super nice guy when in fact you are not.

23. You agree with everyone

You have no opinions of your own. You are a “yes man”. You believe if you agree with everyone, they will like and respect you more than if you had your own voice.

24. You know very little about anything

You’ve never spent the time to becoming an expert at anything so you can’t have real conversations. Instead a lot of your conversations are very high level and you are always trying to change the subject.

25. You let people treat you like sh*t

You let people take advantage of you and talk down on you. No one respects and you just accept this.

26. You think working out is too hard

You complain about your body being sore if you work out. So you’d rather not do it.

27. You post status updates whenever you finally go to the gym

You have to announce to the world you are going to the gym because it’s a special occasion.

28. You’re a bragger

You say things like “I know this guy…” or “My friends do cool sh*t like..” or “I’m going to Italy tell me what I should see..” You announce to the world things that you think will make you “cool.”

29. You’re unoriginal

You pretend like you came up with ideas and concepts and take credit for work that isn’t yours. You don’t give credit where credit is due.

30. You think material items will make you cooler

Money is the answer to all your problems. You buy “things” to make you feel better about yourself.

31. You have road rage but you’d never get out of your car if you were called out

You talk a big game but when push comes to shove you’ll back down.

32. You like to say “the girls here aren’t that hot” instead of being a man and talking to them

You’re afraid of rejection and embarrassing yourself. So rather than try you make excuses so you don’t have to do anything that makes you uncomfortable.

33. You lie…a lot

In order to make yourself feel worthy you like to lie to people. You fabricate stories and dramatize events in order to make people think you are better than you really are.

34. You give people the silent treatment

Instead of facing reality and expressing your feelings and thoughts or disagreements you just ignore people. You think your problems will magically disappear if you don’t say anything.

35. You live in a world of fantasy

You might be addicted to porn or play more video games than you do interacting with the real world.

36. You always make up “What if” scenarios

You come up with disaster scenarios for every situation. Nothing in your mind turns out well unless it’s the thought of doing nothing.

37. You wait for opportunities to present themselves

You believe good things come to those who wait. You don’t go out of your way to make things happen.

38. You watch a lot of motivational videos or read a lot of self help books

You continue to search for motivation to change your life. Your endless pursuit for all the answers is your worse enemy.

39. You take the elevator or the escalator instead of the stairs

You’re a lazy SOB.

40. You’re really gullible

You believe anything anyone says. People know this and take advantage of you this way.

41. You’re afraid to ask for help

You don’t want anyone to know you might not know something. You’re unwilling to admit to yourself or let it be known you can’t do everything alone.

42. You don’t have a healthy sex life

If you don’t have a healthy sex life, you might not be a complete loser. But having one is better than not.

43. You don’t have any hobbies

If someone ask you what you do for fun and you say “Nothing” or “I don’t know” then you probably should find ways to pass the time.

44. You never go outside

If your skin never sees sunlight or you’re hiding in your bedroom, then you need to make some big changes.

45. You’re miserable but don’t know why.

Being negative all the time is not healthy. It can carry over in all parts of your life and ruin your relationships.

46. If you’re unhappy with your life, this is super beta male status for sure.

You need to take control of your life.

47. You are a try hard

You try hard to impress people but fail miserably at it.

48. You’re afraid to stand out

You want to fit in and are afraid to do anything that may draw attention to yourself. You get embarrassed when others you associate with also draw attention to you.

49. You don’t know how to take care of yourself

You can’t cook. You need someone to tell you what looks good on you. You have no idea how to find the resources you need to survive on your own. You’re practically an adult, but still a child.

50. You like to gossip

You like to tell people things you shouldn’t tell. You like to spread rumors even though you might not think you are spreading rumors. You’re a chatty cathy.

51. You don’t know what personal space means

You are the awkward guy that stands too close to people. You don’t know that you might be invading someone’s space.

52. You’re a know it all

You think you have all the answers or feel the urge to always say something even though there are times when silence is golden.

53. It’s your way or the highway

You don’t like to compromise or admit that you might be wrong.

54. “I’ll start tomorrow” is a phrase you use often

You push things off because you’re afraid to face the inevitable or do the hard work to obtain your goals.

55. You’re afraid to make eye contact with others

You avoid confrontation at all cost. This includes looking people in the eyes and getting “caught” staring.

56. You’re a creep and stare at people you think are attractive

Staring is not alpha. Neither is being a creep.

57. You over promise, and under-deliver.

You are afraid to say no so you always say yes. You end up not meeting people’s expectations.

If You’ve Made It This Far

Hopefully not of these signs fit who you are. But if they do, then you might want to make some changes to your life.

We have created some great resources here at To Be Alpha to help men achieve the life they desire. And if you really are in need of some help then please use our resources.

Fortunately, everything we say and the advice we provide comes from experience. Either personal or from helping others. The goal is to help you break through mental barriers and help you take action.

With action and a positive mentality, just about anything is possible.


Be Alpha.

We are having problems with the mobile / tablet site so you aren’t seeing some links. This is the link to The Book of Alpha (if interested). 

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • George P

    Some of these really make you say wow. I read through the entire list and more than one time I said yes I do this. It’s sad really. I know I need to change though. Thank you for providing this information. I’ll be returning for sure. Thanks, George.

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  • Wai Yan Soe

    How does an alpha male do if he is talked down or treated like sh*t?

    • #1: Don’t get emotional like don’t start yelling and crying to the person disrespecting you. You’re a man don’t look like a baby.
      #2: Confront him like a man. If he’s disrespecting you ask him “What’s wrong? Are you having a bad day or something? Why are you getting so emotional (or passive aggressive)?” This can turn the tables on the individual to make them look like the beta that is emotional. If he’s treating you like sh*t, again don’t overreact just ask him “Is there a problem?” Don’t share your feelings like “I feel like you’re being mean. I want you to respect me!!” None of that bs. It’s too weak. Your goal is to make him feel inferior to you and the best way to do that is to be calm and make him explain himself and his actions. If all else fails and he’s really treating you like sh*t you really need to stand up for yourself and push back and that’s where going to the boxing gym comes in 😉
      #3: If you have an alpha life then the chances of this ever happening or even caring if this happens to you are slim.

    • Eric

      If you’re an alpha, betas will always talk behind you. Talking smack is their way of trying to devalue you in the eyes of others (especially women). The best way to handle it is to laugh it off with a “whatever dude”. If you get mad and get in his face you come off looking like a beta yourself. It’s always the betas that you see out getting in each other’s faces (waiting for someone to break it up)

      • goob

        See, here lies the problem with the whole beta/alpha argument. It’s completely subject to the situation and a lot of the arguments are really flawed and cancel each other out. To be an alpha you have to laugh it off and ignore them, but that’s ALSO beta material as shown above, avoiding confrontation and just laughing it off. Lets say you don’t laugh it off and come off as an alpha who won’t take shit from someone and you get in someone’s face, oh, now that’s ALSO being beta because you let that other person bother you and you’re up in their face.

        • Not sure where you got this laughing off thing as being alpha or beta? We’ve never written any such thing on this site about laughing it off. Check out #25 – don’t let people treat you like shit. People should have enough respect for themselves to not let people disrespect them. If it happens then you need to stand up for yourself. I would never recommend you just ignore people – that’s not alpha (#34). However, the difference between an alpha and a beta male is the thickness of their skin. There are times when the bigger man (alpha) doesn’t need to provide a reaction to show he/she is the bigger person.

    • Anthony

      Like him or hate him, President Obama is a perfect example of an Alpha male. What do you think he would do if someone talked down to him? Firstly he is always prepared with a defense of his thoughts and positions, so it’s rare that someone can dress him down in public on any thing. Secondly, he never gets flustered or emotional, which is usually what people want to happen when they talk down to you, they want you to l one your cool. Most times when the Beta is getting flustered or bent out of shape its because whatever the insult is that someone is saying, it’s TRUE and they don’t have a defense.

  • Clark

    Before I found this site and got The Book of Alpha, I would have have said yes to every item here. I know my life sucked and i always wish I was someone else, but not now. Good thing, I found your site bro. The book of alpha is a gem! hope to see more stuff like that in the future..

  • Betty

    I think I fit the description of an omega male more, which is even shittier than a beta, Fuck!

  • Eric

    Damn… I’ve been working on a lot of that, but I’ve clearly got a while to go.

  • Kim Il Sung

    “38. You watch a lot of motivational videos or read a lot of self help books”

    You should probably remove that line if you want to keep selling your ebooks… :p

    • I don’t really care. If people are really spending too much time online looking for the magic pill then they need to know. It’s up to people to decide if something is worth purchasing or not. I’m not here to scam anyone.

  • RandoGirl

    Add to the section about lying a lot the fact of lying to women to get them in bed. every beta male I meet has to give me some story about something he can do for me, some way he can help my career out whatever, and then the promises never pan out. I of course don’t put out without being in an exclusive relationship, and long before a guy could ask me to be his girlfriend his promises always reveal themselves as bait, as in the guy dangling a carrot in front of me. beta males don’t have the courage to just ask a girl out, they have to lie in order to get a girl’s interest. but sadly this is a downward spiral because once they get caught they don’t get any further forward, then they feel like a jerk for being caught lying, then their self esteem plummets even lower, then they have to lie again to try to win a woman and the cycle continues on. Pathetic.

    • That is great that you are aware of this! Yes there are men that do this and it is very sad.

    • Anthony

      The Alpha male might do this too but he will be honest about it and won’t do it as “carrot dangling” but as a reward afterwards and he certainly won’t put favors and “rewards” on the table beforehand. More like you’re having a conversation with Alpha and say you put in a resume at xyz company and he knows the hiring manager, he may put in a call quietly later on and give you a recommendation

  • Nick

    I’ve got 38 out of these 57. Being in my 40s it’s time for me to man up and stop accepting loser status and being treated like shit.

    • Anthony

      Good for you man. Took me a long time to stop being a loser and start commanding my life. You can do it, it’s never too late. These are LEARNED behaviors that can be UNLEARNED.

  • Tom Dalh

    About the eye contact thing – how exactly does it work? ‘Not making eye contact’ is considered a beta trait, but ‘staring at attractive women’ is also considered a beta trait? If so, what is the correct way for an alpha male to act around an attractive woman?

    • Hey Tom – you don’t want to stare at random girls like a creep. That’s different than making eye contact when talking to her or catching her eye when you don’t know her. If it’s a girl you’re flirting with then there’s a bunch more than can go on with eye contact to be flirty and seductive. I don’t think we really go over that on the site any more.

    • George

      I’m starting to think the term beta male is a sum of every weakness ever. Notice every list of beta male traits also sells something to make you alpha.
      Sounds fishy to me.
      Try and trust your inner voice some more.

      Also eye contact is a great way to find out if a girl likes you.

    • Anthony

      No, doofus – staring at a woman is gazing longly at her body but not having the cajones to go over and introduce yourself and stake a claim. Any guy can stare at a hot woman’s body when she isn’t looking, but it takes the alpha to walk over, look her in the eye, and tell her that he’s interested and maintain that devastating eye contact the entire time. If you want to see it in action watch the movie The Aviator and see how Howard Hughes played by Leonardo DiCaprio picks up the waitress about halfway into the movie. 100% Alpha Moment.

  • Frankie Baton

    These are all characterisitcs that describe most women

    • Anthony

      I noticed that too haha. That’s why women are totally comfortable friend zoning Mr Beta.

  • DK

    I have read your article. it is very impressive. Frankly speaking, I have all the above qualities of beta male as described. I am 21 and I am very worried about this.

    • 03two

      Dont worry. Just be yourself (love yourself) and maybe work on balance. Embrace the yin (feminine) energy AND yang (masculine) energy. The outward and inward forms of intelligence are essential. There are some issues to me when it comes to this alpha beta stuff. For one This world has suffered enough with us men not having balance and just embracing the masculine energy. Both feminine AND masculine intelligence are essential within ones being. Im not talking about the human embodiment of these energies (girl and boy). Tap into and embrace both. Being sensitive AND being outgoing are both beautiful in their own right. The key is BALANCE.

  • DoubleMeh

    Nice list. It was an interesting read. I know people with many of these traits – I’ll have them see this list.

  • Nishnat Biswas

    most of the features explained here are that of a mid level to low level DELTA and not beta.

    who are beta men???? government officers, army officers, police officers, corporate senior managers etc etc. there may be some alphas / sigmas/ gammas and deltas in these groups, but mostly they are betas. its tough to differentiate between alpha and beta. beta is the system. alpha is above the system.

    beta is the best place to be. i am not a beta, but I envy them. the most important difference between an alpha and beta is that a beta’s pride is in accomplishment. an alpha’s pride is in existence although there is accomplishment neverthe less.

  • Nishnat Biswas

    one cannot make a beta into an alpha. professionally, beta is the best position to be. they take career and social laws very seriously. they have self confidence and believe in self development. thats why they reach the top. alpha is a different creature altogether. a beta can become a gamma if he starts to envy the alpha. if he faces a tough life and finds out the hollowness of society, ambition, pride, human beings etc etc, he unofficially leaves the society and becomes a sigma. now, lets make a summary-

    alpha – above the system (3%)
    sigma- contempt towards system. outside and above the system(2%)
    beta- is the system (10%)
    gamma- believes in system. wants to rule the system. envious of the alpha. contempt towards beta.(10%)
    delta- believes in system. wants to follow, alpha and beta. the normal guy. (65%)
    omega- lowest level of the system. all other groups look down on them. (10%)

    we all need system. but what matters is how a person view the system. most people we come across in life are deltas. most movies are made by keeping deltas and omegas in mind. the perspective we get in this world is delta. betas are successful because they are successful from delta perspective.

    • Clarissa Hope

      “alpha – above the system (3%)
      sigma- contempt towards system. outside and above the system(2%)
      beta- is the system (10%)
      gamma- believes in system. wants to rule the system. envious of the alpha. contempt towards beta.(10%)
      delta- believes in system. wants to follow, alpha and beta. the normal guy. (65%)
      omega- lowest level of the system. all other groups look down on them. (10%)”

      Looks to me like something a bunch of testosterone-saturated, male-ego-bound, dirty-sweat-socked, chronically masturbating frat boys made up over a game of beer pong or some kind of asinine drink-till-you-puke game. So, every guy fits neatly into one of those six boxes huh? Give me a break. Do tell me: what are the boxes for females, oh Pierre Magnol of 21st century sociology? You don’t have a clue what you are talking about.

      • Nishnat Biswas

        This is a social hierarchy / division. The same applies for females also. We have Alpha women, beta women etc etc.

        • AeriSicher

          This is NOT a competent social heirarchy / division. Rather, this pathetic excuse for a hierarchy tries to depict everyone below the “alpha” as shit.

      • Gaze73

        Maybe you should go back to the kitchen instead of discussing sociology.

        • Clarissa Hope

          Wow, the ol’ standby belong-in-kitchen-making-men-sandwiches-or-naked-in-bed-pregnant is the best you can do eh?

          • Gaze73

            Took you 8 months to come up with that comeback? Go git me a sammich darlin’.

    • Schwanger

      Nishnat I agree.

  • Justin Mathis

    You’re list is mostly contradictions in character. I guess you might have been going for sterotype traits? Each behavior you listed happens within a context, which is important to take into consideration. Moreover, these “alpha” traits which I’m guessing are the opposite of everything listed here, happen to people whom were accepted by society without any effort of their own, due to body type and brain chemistry. Men are experiments in an environment which changes unexpectedly. Telling a very large portion of the human male population that the reason people don’t like them is due to them being weak minded is funny for how degenerate it is. You should instead look at men as being ready for a world which does not exist, in which their mental traits would be signs of success for a world which demands them. Now, the reason for some of these behaviors has its root in being rejected from an early age. Seeing your friends or relatives be accepted without bias while you just can’t win by contrast. A life of experiencing this creates the behaviors which you associate with being a “beta” male. You assume that these personality traits can be removed and the individual would recover, this is completely ignoring the reason those traits where there to begin with.

    So really, fuck you, fuck you to hell, take a gun and blow your tiny brains out. You worthless pile of shit.

    • AidanO

      reddit.com/r/incels sounds like your kind of place my friend

      • Justin Mathis

        MGTOW actually. I’m not involuntarily celibate. However, I will defend to the death my bros, not my death btw. Shiteater.

  • Rabid Rabbit

    Lame list.

  • Ostnizdasht206 .

    Lol all of the angry betas in the comments.

  • TZO2K15

    Yup, Not a beta, just an alpha that stumbled…And lingered there for a bit too long.

  • Clarissa Hope

    I’m a soft, meek, weak, effete and ever, ever, ever, so very, very sweet, exceedingly feminine, extremely indulgent crossdresser and ultra-uber-omega-male, with no interest whatsoever in ever being even the least bit masculine. My greatest passion in life is dressing, acting and feeling as feminine and girlish as I can. My hobbies are: wearing female attire, playing with makeup, feeling feminine and acting girlish.

    I never lifted weights because I always believed that visible arm and upper-body muscles don’t look good in a dress and the first week of high school freshman P.E. I even faked a bench-press accident and injury that I then used to get my sister’s female doctor to get me permanently excused from weight-training. I have always enjoyed being called a pussy, sissy, wussy, pantywaist and fairy and I am constantly being ‘mistaken’ for a girl, which I love.

    You could lock me in a townhouse with three gorgeous, sexy, horny, genetic, natal female supermodels and have them agree to do everything I tell them to and I would have one do my makeup, one do my hair and one do my nails. If they were begging me to have sex with them I would tell them that after they make me as pretty as they can, us four girls will go out for cocktails where they would then be free to find some guys to satisfy them.

    If a genie came to me and said that with just a snap of his finger he could make me the most handsome, studliest, most sought-after man on Earth I would squeal in abject terror and run, run, run, like a girl, a very sissy girl, to the nearest group of adult, genetic natal, females and beg them, crying on my hands and knees if need be…and beg them to please, please, please hide me and protect me from the wicked, evil, horrible genie who threatened to masculinize me…and I would not come out of hiding until they assured me that the evil, wicked, horrible monster of a genie had gone, will never come back nor bother me again and that there will be no masculinization of me whatsoever and that I would only become more feminine.

    I constantly fantasize about having a surgeon slice through the skin at the tip of my penis with a razor-sharp scalpel, then down its entire very short length, through my scrotal sack, to its base, then peeling the skin back and off of the insides of my penis. Cutting the deepest base of those insides and removing them and my testicles, leaving only the skin of my penis and scrotal sack. Then artfully re-crafting the skin into an adorable little honey pot. Then me being allowed to throw my former penis insides into a medical waste incinerator, between the giant wheel cylinder of a steam roller and a flat concrete slab or toss them to a pack of starving, rabid, wild dogs…then being allowed to dry out my testicles till crispy dried them lost-wax (lost tissue) cast them into a darling pair of gemstone encrusted, solid gold earrings.

    So, I’m thinking that the best thing I could do is start taking estrogen, anti-androgen, finesteride and progesterone and begin a full-on, dedicated, lifestyle toward the goal of a total and complete gender change. What do you guys think?

    • melancholicmagpie

      Yeah, the system of classification is pretty wrong. It really just elevates someone’s confidence to ill levels, and diminishes the confidence of another.

      However, I do believe some (only some) of the words here are helpful, but the total arrogance that the author has is utterly bile.

      I see humans, man and women, as this — all have different temperaments and that is fine; however, one should also work on becoming stronger, but should not be mocked at the same time. The author mocks certain people and I find that abhorrent.

    • David Kemecsi

      There are human universalities, and these are based on millions of years of evolution; our genetical makeup; sexual dimorphism and endocrinology. The above described traits are undoubtedly very accurate descriptors of a unhealthy, unhappy male who is hormonally imbalanced due to a sedetary lifestyle, overmasturbation and other unhealthy psychological and physiological habits. As a woman you do not understand how testosterone makes you work, how it makes you feel, how it drives you and makes you see life. In a sense we are all robots, programmed by these chemical pathways and think we have much free will, but we are in reality all slaves to our genetics alpha, beta, male, female. We can rationalize it as much as we want, but it is usually just beta males looking for something or someone else to blame ther misery on, or women who do not want to accept men as they are but secretly wish a real alpha male would seduce them.

      • Clarissa Hope

        “As a woman you do not understand how testosterone makes you work, how it makes you feel, how it drives you and makes you see life.”

        Be careful to not err toward the presumptive. Although I have excellent reason to surmise that I was not merely short-changed on testosterone in the womb, but likely even infused with estrogen while other alleged, so-called male fetus’
        my age were getting power dosed with the former, I know ALL about testosterone to an intimately scientific degree. I spent the first forty-some-odd years of my life under the primary influence of testosterone, and ‘growing up’ as an extremely introspective transgendered science nerd, I have made the core of my entire life a personal research project that could aptly be titled:
        “The interaction and influence of endocrinology, gender dysphoria, constant observation of the human species and its behavior, and a career in life sciences on a lifetime of unbelievably consistent happiness”

        • Well, the whole purpose of this article is that most people who read these 5,000 or so points will realise that at least a few apply to them, and, they will think “oh, so something is wrong with me”. I’m a BETA male. OH, NEVERRRR! I need their product, and to give them all my money, so I won’t be BETA male any more. Hahahahahahahaha.

  • melancholicmagpie

    While this site has some truth, but the general concept is pretty wrong. Yes, it is better to have things such as self-confidence, but some of the things being listed as negative are not bad at all — quite the contrary. “One on another list, that being “putting the needs of others first”, is not a bad thing. How is altruism bad? Is the author inferring that things such as charity and parental guidance are wrong?

    Another one that irks me is the aversion to sensitivity and emotionalism. This is rather concerning, as emotional concepts such as empathy are essential.

    So again, while one may benefit from some pieces of advice given on this site, I would never come here for tips. And, to whomever was hurt by this site and happens to be reading this: You are human, though flawed as all, you also have amazing qualities, even if you or another fail to recognize them. Don’t listen to one who ought to trip from his pedestal a bit before throwing stones; not everyone has to be a choleric.

    • Johnny Michael

      Isn’t it an issue of intent though?

      So being a ‘people pleaser’ and doing things for other people with the expectation of getting something in return is probably a negative trait, because it is centred around manipulating others into behaving how you would like them to.

      When the other people inevitably don’t behave as expected then the ‘people pleaser’ generally becomes bitter and resentful.

      I would also say that there can be a fine line between constructive expression of emotion, and a descent into narcissism, self pity, and other negative thoughts and behaviours.

      For instance, I don’t see any benefit in spending much time analysing a failed relationship, especially speaking badly about ones’ ex-partner while lacking the self-awareness to acknowledge ones’ own part in the situation – something I was certainly guilty of when I was younger.

  • Wild Bill

    If you can keep your head when all about you
    Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
    If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
    But make allowance for their doubting too:
    If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
    Or, being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
    Or being hated don’t give way to hating,
    And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise;

    If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;
    If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim,
    If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
    And treat those two impostors just the same:.
    If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
    Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
    Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
    And stoop and build’em up with worn-out tools;

    If you can make one heap of all your winnings
    And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
    And lose, and start again at your beginnings,
    And never breathe a word about your loss:
    If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
    To serve your turn long after they are gone,
    And so hold on when there is nothing in you
    Except the Will which says to them: “Hold on!”

    If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
    Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,
    If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
    If all men count with you, but none too much:
    If you can fill the unforgiving minute
    With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
    Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
    And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!

    Rudyard Kipling

  • Pandah

    So from my understanding this list contains the majority of the symptoms of an anxiety disorder?

    So the last time i checked having a disorder which may stem from abuse bullying or other such mistreatment’s results in being beta?

    The whole point in being a beta is being weak and letting people walk over you giving you commands, and the whole point in being alpha is being likable charismatic and respectable.

    So for someone like myself who is neither beta or Alpha, as i exhibit signs from both parts, i have the anxiety of the beta males from my disorders yet i have the confidence, charisma and responsibility of the alpha, what am i?

    Do i exist outside of this cycle an enigma for all time.

    Oh wait no, its just that i am an alpha who got abused for years.

  • Hmm I have HF autism and many of these describe me very well. So many of these things seem related to some kind of issue that may not be from upbringing but due to the person’s brain structure or chemistry.

  • Derek Hancock


  • Derek Hancock

    This whole concept of the “alpha male” must be exterminated and extinguished. alpha males are douchebags

    • disqus_4o1eoHiAiW

      Yup. “Alpha Male” = coward trying to hide his own weakness by acting like an a**hole.

    • Kenneth Rader

      I agree with some of the points made above and disagree with others. Not all Alpha’s are douchebags, but 90% are. Some of us are confident but know when to dial back and not be so off-putting.

    • Alonzo Zimucha

      I disagree. I believe that there’s a difference between an alpha male and an overcompensating beta male. In my belief anyway

    • Gaze73

      It’s funny because you’re just a beta wishing you were alpha. You probably think every guy with an expensive car is a douchebag too. What’s wrong with being strong, driven, confident, goal-oriented, determined, unyielding, brave, risk-taking, handsome and charismatic with great social skills? Nothing, except it makes men who are the opposite of that envious. You think your boss is a douchebag, but he probably earned that position due to his alpha traits and he gave you a job.

      • just stop

        you’re all just using this “alpha” label to get away with being a dick to people lmfao. it’s ridiculous and you know it, the fact that you start your post off in such a condescending tone just bc someone has a differing opinion proves it. 🙂

        • AeriSicher

          Exactly. I can’t believe how easily these people buy into it and actually think that they are “better” than others. It only shows how chauvinistic and egotistical they actually are.

    • JoeVMan

      Only a beta would complain about the concept of an alpha.

    • Nick

      Overcompensating betas are the douchebags. They think alphas are the enemy and porn is real when in reality alphas could care less while betas get off to alphas gettin they nut on a screen. The world is a cruel place for betas.

      • James Hughes

        every man watches porn so don’t try to sit here and act like beta males are the only ones who watch porn

        • Nick

          Says the beta. Reality sucks. No not all men watch porn. That’s a lie. Most men do. I like making my own porn. Wanna watch me have sex with a hot chick?

        • Shane Warne

          Not the ‘no fap’ types lol.

  • disqus_4o1eoHiAiW

    The whole concept of the “Alpha male” in
    human societies is a myth created by stupid, insecure men who believe
    that “being strong” means being an a**hole.

    It takes
    a lot more strength to treat people with dignity and respect than it
    does to go around bullying everyone into submission. Bullies bully
    people because they are terrified of being found out as the cowards that
    they actually are if they don’t constantly “prove” their “strength” by
    pushing others around. Men with real strength do not feel the need to
    prove their strength, because they know they have it.

    the immortal words of the Ghetto Boys: “Real Gangsta Ass Niggas don’t
    flex nuts, ’cause real Gangsta Ass Niggas know they got ’em.”

  • shelli

    I was searching on Beta training, I think this alpha site should acknowledge the use & existance of quality beta’s. Many males are not looking to become leaders, We wish to continue happiness in the niche we’ve carved out. Especially if the niche is pleasing others. I’ve enjoyed topping some sissy’s and yet my love is watching successfully how I’ve done a great job for other peoples benefits. Alpha males are adored, especially by beta’s like me. I’m not looking to be one, but blush and giggle when near one.

  • codefool

    I take the elevator, I work on the 24th floor! I’m not the Ghostbusters trying to walk all the way to the top of the building carrying my backpack for work.

  • Renz star

    I was dumped by this awesome Korean French raised girl in an online game.
    We liked each other at first and then one day she dropped the bomb.
    She told me im gay and too beta for her.
    For days i was contemplating on the word “gay” like how did she ever come to that conclusion when i confessed that i love her.
    Everything on this list fits my criteria.
    I looked up on her as a guiding light, i wanted her to tell me what to do next in the game.
    I began being cancerous to the guild.
    I talked backstabbingly to people.
    After days i realized what she truly meant with our last conversation she said “NEVER SHOW Weakness!!!” and cut our conversation and i got offended once again.
    Her words cut deep as it will always be the key word i need before i drop beta stuff again.
    Today i will enroll and finish my degree, it might be late as im 25, but for me to be Alpha i need to something to be proud of and know more people outside.
    I want to tell her how she saved a life that night but i will annoy her more.
    Oh well she made me realize the reason for my alcoholism and why i was so scared to go to college.
    I am not proud of the man i am.
    I could make reasons about my upbringing and yes i was raised a beta.
    But no more of this, i truly thank you SUNHEE

  • Sean

    Holy shit… how can this list not apply to everyone on the planet

  • Derek Hancock

    This “alpha male concept” is bullshit. everyone has flaws

  • Alvar

    WTF am i doing here

  • Randy Wright

    women contrrol im a super bata male

  • Bitter Catto

    Man according to this article my only option should be killing myself or something, good thing I’m not that easy to manipulate, let’s be honest here this article is propaganda for the site, they’re trying to make people feel miserable so they end up buying into all the crap they have here, we all know that 100% of people have at least 10 of these “problems” in their life at all times, the eternal struggle is part of being human, nobody is perfect, we’re all different and some of these “problems” are just character traits, others may be problematic but they may come from life experiences or values, not something so shallow as “being beta” (Whatever the hell they’re trying to make you believe that means) it all depends on the person, on mood, on context and probably hundreds of other things, humans are just too complex for these meaningless labels.

    Bottom line: if you feel “beta” well that’s on you, change whatever in your life is making you feel that way… or don’t, the choice is yours, but do things your way, you sure as hell don’t need the toxicity of pages that want to “help” you by insulting your intelligence and by judging you without even knowing you, that’s a no brainer (At least for me)