Have you ever heard the saying “Failure is not an option“?
People say this when they want to obtain some sort of goal and are willing to do whatever it takes to get it.
It’s admirable that people are willing to do whatever the hell they have to do to achieve something. But is it always the right move?
I’ve learned more from failures than I have from successes.
Today I’m going to tell you why I believe failure is in fact an option and you should embrace failing.
As focused as I am on creating on the guides and main guides to the site, I want to put up blog posts that make you think about alternative ways to see things. Hopefully they inspire and motivate you.
When I was younger and whenever I start a new venture, I always want to be perfect.
I want to be perfect the first time.
When I was younger, I wanted to always get straight A’s. And I’d do anything to get them.
I was a smart kid. I studied hard. Did my homework. And always prepared for exams. But truth be told, I wasn’t perfect. But I needed to be. So I did what most “smart” kids would do. I cheated.
- My friends and I would create these little cheat sheets in spanish class by typing out phrases and words on the computer and using the smallest of fonts. We all got A’s. Perfect.
- In math courses, even though I was pretty good at math, I wanted to be perfect. So friends and I would program mathematical formulas in our TI-85 calculators. Do people still use those?
- When I played golf competitively, I wanted to have the perfect swing. I’d spend hours on the driving range hitting balls until I was perfect. I never prepared for shots in the bunker or in the rough because I had this idea that I’d always be on the fairway.
- As I created my first start up this past year, I spent an enormous amount of time on making adjustments after adjustments – which just delayed launching. I wanted it to be perfect on day 1.
The search for perfection seems great on paper. But by wanting to be perfect, you end up losing valuable lessons.
Instead of facing the music and finding out what I sucked at and needed to work on, I just wanted to be perfect. I didn’t actually evaluate what I did poorly because I always got A’s.
By only thinking about the perfect golf shot, I never prepared for the shots where I had on the golf course. So I essentially screwed myself out of lower scores earlier in my golf career because I was under the assumption I’d always hit the perfect shot.
And the biggest search of perfection has cost me a lot of time and money. My start up. The search for perfection has cost me a ton of potential feedback I could be getting from users.
I’ve realized the search for perfection is more detrimental to success than it is helpful.
I’m not going to sit here and say failing is an awesome feeling. It’ s not.
Sometimes you just suck at something and you fail. Other times, other people think you suck and reject you.
You have two options when you feel like a loser. You either accept it or you figure out how to suck less.
I remember when I used to get rejected from girls all the time. It was so sad. Not depressing sad but sad. I would think, “what the hell, I’m a good looking guy. And I’m perfect! What’s wrong with these girls!”
For awhile, I just kept getting rejected. I didn’t do anything differently because I thought I was perfect.
But then I got smart.
I realized something. Yes getting rejected sucks. Yes failing sucks. But failing gives you an opportunity to get feedback.
Feedback is key to continuous improvement.
So instead of getting down on yourself for failing. Use it as a lesson.
For me, I’ve learned a lot from failing. Like with all those girls, I learned a lot of lessons from all that rejection. I learned I need to be more confident. I needed to work on my style and my voice tone. Even my body language needed work.
Failures Are Lessons
Nowadays life is good with girls. Life is good in general. Because I’ve taken all the failure as feedback and I’ve figured out what I needed to work on.
I failed a lot. Probably more than a lot of you reading this. I can’t even count the number of times I’ve been rejected from jobs, from girls, and from investors.
But instead of feeling sorry for myself, I analyzed what I did and what I could have done differently.
I read something once. It said the following –
If you do what you have always done, you will get what you have always got.
How true is that statement?
Does it make sense to you? I hope it does. All it’s saying is you have to do things differently to get different results when you realize what you’re doing isn’t working for you.
I’ve started to do this whenever I fail at something enough times that sets off a red flag that whatever I’m doing isn’t working.
With jobs, I used to just apply and submit my resume into a black box. I never got a call back. Even with my professional and academic background.
So I started to reach out to people in unique ways. I started to network. I set aside my ego and asked for help.
Before you know it, I was getting interviews and offers to make more money than I had ever made.
With working out, I was in the gym 6 (sometimes 7) days a week. But the results were always the same. I realized my diet needed to change.
Once I changed my diet, my gains exploded.
With girls I used to wait for the opportunities to present themselves. They were few and far between. I already talked about how I changed this up so I won’t again.
You get the picture. Failure doesn’t have to make you a loser.
Failure can make you a winner. Successful beyond your dreams. If you let it.
Don’t Fear It, Accept It
Failure is going to happen. No one is perfect. Not even you.
If your parents tell you you’re perfect. They’re lying to you.
Either you’re going to fail, and fail a lot. Or you’re going to play it safe your entire life.
Failing gives you a chance to grow. Failure gives you a chance to learn. Failure gives you feedback.
Playing it safe keeps you in your comfort zone. Playing it safe prevents you from doing what you want to do. Playing it safe is a way to lie to yourself that you’re perfect.
I don’t want you to fail your entire life. And I don’t want to be a failure. I don’t think anyone does.
But I want you to not be afraid to fail. If you don’t fail then you will never know if anything is possible.
- If you want to that dream job, you can’t be afraid to fail if you go for it.
- If you want to hit on that hot girl, you can’t be afraid to be rejected.
- If you want to lift more weights than you have ever lifted, you can’t be afraid to fail your first time around.
- If you want to change your life and be an alpha male, you can’t be afraid to fall flat on your face as you try.
It’s ok to feel like a loser for like a split second when you fail. But dwelling on the failure is not going to help. Figuring out why you failed and what you can do so you limit the failures and increase the number of successes is key.
Make failure an option. You won’t regret it.
Have you ever failed at something? How did you react? How did you bounce back?