Take Control of Your Life

Did you know how you sit can be the difference between having power and influence and being a beta male loser?


This topic was going to be a premium topic part of the newly created Alpha program currently in beta but I wanted to pass along this information to you anyway because I think it’s important and honestly, when is the last time you read anything about where you sit?

I’m not only going to talk about where you should sit at a table or in a meeting but also how you should sit. Because all of this stuff matters.

You may not think it matters but the people looking at you will view you differently based on how you sit. You sit every day. The last thing you want is for people to think you’re a beta male just because you sit like a loser.

How do I know This Stuff?

I’m sharing my tips on how to sit like an alpha male based on real world experience. As a 22 year old, I sat with some of the most powerful executives in the financial industry on a weekly basis (Goldman Sachs CFO, Head of Investment Banking, Head of Fixed Income Trading, Head of Financial Sponsors…to name a few). I’ve also had meetings with corporate executives in a previous job that had a market cap of $3 billion.

In each of these jobs I observed how there was always one or two people that were more alpha than everyone else and how they sat compared to everyone else.

I also noticed how in some meetings there were ultra beta males that tried so hard to be alpha but were treated like a beta male not only because of how they acted and thought, but because of where they sat.

Based on these experiences, I can confidently say there is a way you should and should not sit.

How to NOT Sit (the beta male way)

I like to think of sitting like I think of body language. Have good sitting language (is that a phrase?) so you look alpha.

  • Beta males aren’t always the most confident individuals and it shows through the way they sit.
  • Beta males slouch in a chair
  • Beta males cross their arms across their chest
  • Beta males may put their hands underneath the table or sit on their hands
  • Beta males may play with a pen in their hand or draw on a piece of paper so they don’t make eye contact with others
  • Beta males make themselves small in their chair
  • Beta males also lean forward in their chair
  • Beta males sit super close to the desk like their stomach touches the desk when they are sitting. Betas look like a child sitting like this (corporate professionals do this all the time).

Where to NOT Sit (the beta male way)

Beta males want to feel important, but don’t know how. They do stupid things to try to look important like say stupid things just to be heard or ask irrelevant questions in a meeting to “try” to look smart. But there’s one thing that shows they are beta – where they sit.

  • Beta males sit on near the edge of a table
  • Beta males sit on the opposite side of others rather than the same side (US versus THEM mentality)
  • Beta males sit in the back of the room so they don’t get noticed

If you want the world to know you’re a beta male – just do the above. You may not feel beta but you will look beta.

The Basics of Sitting like an Alpha Male

Now that we got the beta male way of sitting out of the way, let’s talk about the right way to sit.

Keep in mind these ideas of how an alpha male should sit come from my experiences with highly successful individuals that are well regarded in their field of work. Also I have taken some of my ideas from some other alpha males I know that are super confident and considered attractive and successful with women.

  • Alphas sit back in their chair looking relaxed and confident (the King / Queen do not lean in)
  • Alpha males cross their legs or sit with their legs open (take up more space)
  • Alpha males have their hands and arms on top of the table (they have nothing to hid)
  • Alpha males sit upright (no slouching like a beta male)
  • Alpha males may wrap their arms around someone’s shoulder or on another chair or back of something (does this make sense?)
  • Alpha males do not look like they are stiff or afraid of moving in their chair
  • Alpha males sit facing everyone else

ALPHA TIP: HIGHER IS BETTER. If you sit in a chair that has adjustable height. Try to increase the height slightly but not too drastically that it looks like you’re really short. Looking down on others give you a more dominant look and comes off as more powerful.

The key to sitting like an alpha male is to LOOK confident. Whether you are or you aren’t – looking like you are alpha is key. 

Spread out. Make yourself know. You are alpha. Let everyone in the room know it as you sit there.

Where An Alpha Male Sits

Now that you know HOW an alpha male sits, it’s time to talk about WHERE an alpha male sits in a room or at a table.

None of these tips below are exclusive. Don’t think you have to do one or the other. All of these ways of sitting are alpha.

  • Alpha males sit at the head of the table
  • Alpha males sit in the middle of a table
  • Alpha males sit in the middle of the room so they can see everything
  • Alpha males sit front and center (think about how rich people want front row seats or seats on the 50 yard line)
  • Alpha males can pull up a chair and sit next to someone to have a conversation (to get personal with someone else)

The essential of where an alpha male sits is where he can see everything and everyone can see him. Don’t be afraid to let people know you’re the King. 

Final Thoughts

Being alpha is a combination of how you think, how you act, your body language, how you dress and HOW YOU SIT.

  • Don’t sit like you’re scared or sit like you’re invisible
  • Do sit like you are in charge
  • Sit where everyone can see you
  • Sit where you can see everyone
  • Look relaxed
  • Lean back
  • Take up room

Be Alpha. Be Bold.

What tips do you have to sitting more alpha?

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