Take Control of Your Life

I want to have a serious discussion today about living your life the right way.

We’re not going to talk to about the usual alpha male body language or what is a beta male but what I want to talk about is really important.

The Alpha Male Mindset

There are plenty of misconceptions about what an alpha male is. Are you supposed to be a bully? Muscular? Loud and obnoxious? A douche bag? An asshole? Rich? A player? Good at everything? Ballsy?

What an Alpha male really is, is debatable. To me it really is a mindset first and foremost.

If you don’t believe you’re alpha, no one else will.

Alpha is what you make it.

But there’s a right way and a wrong way of thinking with the Alpha life.

I want you to live every day to the fullest and also do the most you can with your life. It all starts with the mindset that you have. The way you think is really powerful. So I want to remind you of the right and wrong way to think if you want to be Alpha.

The RIGHT Alpha Male Mindset

Realize that life is meant to be lived 

A lot of people in this world just go through the motions of waking up, going to work, and then doing it all over the next day. I don’t want that to be you.

I want you to realize that you have opportunities each day to do things that make you happy, things that excite you, and things that challenge you. At some point, you won’t be able to do all the things you want to. One day you’ll be too old to do the things you want to today.

We get older each day. Our parents, loved ones and friends get older each day too. One day, they won’t be around anymore, and neither will you. So if you have things on your list that you want to accomplish or try, start. Take action. Don’t think that life is just a boring routine. Life is meant to be lived.

Understand that your quality of life is important

A lot of my friends are unhappy for a variety of reasons (work, not making enough money, other people stressing them out…). And it makes me sad. I’m pretty happy with my life. Three years ago I wasn’t because I had a job where my manager sucked and I hated what I was doing. It took its toll on my physical and mental well-being. Since that experience, I have decided that I will live my life doing what I want to do and make sure I enjoy every minute of it.

You need realize that your quality of life is a top priority.

  • Where you live matters.
  • What you do matters.
  • The people you interact with matters.
  • How you feel matters

Ultimately, how you spend your life matters. Don’t live your life for someone else. Live your life for you.

Don’t worry about what other people think

Easier said than done, right? Learn how to block out the noise.

The truth is, very few people are paying attention to you. They are paying more attention to themselves or focused on whatever their doing. People aren’t going to waste their time looking at you, staring at you, or making fun of you. No one has time for that. So stop worrying.

If there are things you want to do that you aren’t doing because you feel you will be judged, I want you to stop right now. Stop thinking like that. None of these people matter. What you want to do matters. Don’t let other people control how you live your life.

Have goals in the back of your mind 

Every day I make choices on what I’m going to do and what I’m not going to do. Sometimes I do things for fun, but most times I’m doing things to get closer to my goals.

I am always thinking about the goals I have for myself. Whether they are professional goals or personal goals, I’m always asking myself “Is what I’m doing getting my closer to my goals?” If the answer is no, then I reevaluate whether I should be doing what I’m doing.

Always think about what you’re working towards. Your time is limited. I don’t want you to waste your time and have nothing to show for it. Plus, if you have the goals in the back of your mind, you’ll be more focused and get more done.

Know that there is a process

Success doesn’t happen over night. Know that you have to go from point A to point B. If you’re following the advice at To Be Alpha or any other advice, trust that there is a process.

A lot of us want success right away. Rarely does that happen. But many of us give up before we actually see our hard work pay off. I don’t want you to quit because something is hard. I want you to trust that you are improving even if you can’t see it right now.

Don’t give up so easily when trying new things.

Always remember that beginners start from nothing

We all have egos. And if you’re new at something, you’re probably wondering why you suck or are having a difficult time. If you’re good at something, you may have forgot that at one time you were a beginner / newbie too.

Don’t be too hard on yourself if you’re trying to learn something new. Remember the bullet point above – trust the process and just stay focused.

If you’re teaching a new person something new, don’t get too frustrated when they “don’t get it” right away. Remember, you were once in their shoes too. Be patient and encouraging. You’ll get a lot more respect if you are empathetic and show compassion to others rather than act like an asshole.

Know that you are in control

A lot of people seem to believe if they do the right thing, opportunities will come. Don’t base your life on luck. Go after what you want. Take what is yours. Make opportunities happen. Don’t wait for them.

Always remember that you are in control of your life. Even when it doesn’t feel that way. You decide what you want to do each day. You decide what you want to eat. You decide what you want feel. You decide everything. Whether you want to believe it or not.

Never feel like someone else controls your life. Do what you want with your life. Live your dreams.

The desire to win

Win in life. That’s the ultimate way to be alpha.

You should always be competing. If not with others, at least with yourself. Always look to improve. Never be content.

A lot of people say you should “just be happy”…but I’m sorry, I don’t believe in that. I think you can always do more. You can always be more. You can always achieve more. Why would you want to just stop becoming a better you?

Win at everything and you’ll become amazing. Challenge yourself and accept the challenge. Whatever it may be.

The WRONG Alpha Male Mindset

Believing you know everything

Don’t be a know it all. Because you don’t know everything. Don’t try to bullshit your way through life. Rather, learn what you need to learn to know what you need to know.

If you think you know everything, then you won’t ask for help when you need it. Don’t make life difficult on yourself by pretending that you know everything. Instead, find smart people that can help you and teach you when you need that help. Surround yourself with good people and always keep learning.

Victim mentality

When things don’t go right, don’t play the victim or have the “why me” mentality. Don’t be a loser. Take control of your life.

The truth is, life isn’t going to always be perfect. There are ups and there are downs. Life happens and things happen. But never get so low that it ruins your day, your week, or a long period of your life. Just let things roll off your shoulders and keep moving forward.

The longer you act like a victim or feel sorry for yourself, the longer it takes to achieve the things you want in life. Spend your energy becoming a better you and less time feeling like the world is against you (it isn’t).

Believing that you can just do things tomorrow

Time is your most valuable resource. I can’t emphasize that enough. Why? Because one day you’re going to get old and will look and feel old. And then you’re going to die. Yes, it’s true. And I don’t think you really understand this until you experience the death of a person close to you or you start getting older.

Don’t let your prime years pass you by. Or rather, don’t let anymore time pass you by.

  • The longer you wait to do something, the longer it takes to get good or attain whatever that is that you’re pushing off.
  • The longer you wait to do something, the less likely you’re going to do it.

Tomorrow is not guaranteed. Don’t believe otherwise.

Whatever it is that you think you’ll start doing because of whatever excuse (“I need to get in shape first…I need to make more money first…I need more time…I need to learn more…”)…whatever it is. Just start. Stop making so many damn excuses.

Undervaluing yourself

  • Don’t sell yourself short. Know your worth.
  • Don’t take jobs that don’t pay you enough (unless its a stepping stone to bigger things – never settle).
  • Don’t be shy about telling people about your achievement and successes (do it in a humble way). Be proud of what you have accomplished with your life.

Believe you have something to offer.

If you undervalue yourself, you’re going to feel like people are taking advantage of you and don’t give you the respect you deserve. You worked hard to become the person you are. Be proud of that and let others know.

As I said above, never settle. You deserve the best.

Being okay with losing and failing

If losing and failing should never make you happy. But it happens. And what you need to do is learn why you failed or lose and make adjustments and improvements so you stop losing and start winning.

I don’t want you to be okay with being a loser. Because we’re trying to be alpha here and we are all about having a winning mentality – being the best.

Don’t get comfortable with losing. But be smart if it happens. Figure out why. And improve. Strive to be a winner, always.

Believing fear cannot be conquered

You can run from your fears for the rest of your life and never really live. Or you can be alpha and face them and realize that you can do anything.

No one can do anything for you. All I can do is tell you to face your fears. You have to figure out how you can get the courage to do that. But please know that your fears are really just something that you manifest in your mind and you can do things you are scared of doing and you can be really good at those things if you really wanted.

Alpha up.

Waiting for the right time mentality

The truth is, there really is never a right time. It’s like chasing perfection – it doesn’t exist. But you should know when it’s time. If you keep thinking about doing something, you should probably just do it. If you need more time, no pressure, give yourself time. But don’t wait forever. Or it will never happen.

Becoming too comfortable

It’s good to be good. But you should want to be better. You might get bored when you’re too comfortable or feel like you’re no longer challenging yourself.

Always be growing.

  • Grow personally
  • Grow intellectually
  • Grow financially

Build yourself up now so you can enjoy life when you’re older.

Key Takeaways (and things not stated in this article)

  • Time is limited – you only have a limited amount of time on this earth
  • How you feel about your choices matters most
  • Create a foundation for the future
  • Do things that excite you
  • Enjoy life with people you love
  • Do things now because one day you won’t be able to
  • Don’t take your ability to live an active life forgranted
  • Don’t waste your life talking about it

Take Action. Never settle. Be Bold. Be Alpha.

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