If you’ve learned anything at To Be Alpha it’s that we tell you things that other people don’t. Everyone tries to fluff everything and give you nice advice that might help you. What they fail to do is tell you what you need to know.
Today we’re talking about knowing when to take a hint when people want you to shut up, go away, or leave them alone.
- No one likes to be rejected.
- Everyone wants to believe what they say is important.
- Too many people are idiots and don’t pay attention to how other people are reacting
We live in a world where it’s about you. And by you I mean “ME”. Does that make sense?
It’s all about you.
Everyone cares about themselves. As it should be. But let’s not forget we need to understand that other people matter.
No you shouldn’t do things because you want to be a people pleaser, but you shouldn’t do things that will annoy the hell out of people either. One of the goals of being alpha is to build a network.
In order to build a solid network you need to be on people’s good side. People will not help you if you’re someone they don’t like.
So now that we’ve got all that out of the way. It’s time to talk about how to take a hint.
Have you ever wondered why people stop talking to you? Or maybe they stopped picking up your phone calls or replying to your texts? Maybe it’s because you didn’t take a hint.
The Most COMMON Ways You Can Turn People Off
#1: You talk too much
People that talk and talk and talk when they don’t need to are so useless. People hate a blabber mouth. We’ve all been there. Someone that just talks your ear off when you want to just get up and leave. When you talk too much, your pleasant voice becomes nothing but annoying.
If you have something of substance to share, then share. If you have a great story, awesome. If you have to answer a question or have something to say, do it. But if you are just going to talk and give a long winded answer that no one wants to hear – you’re doomed.
#2: You say stupid shit
Stupidity is a disease and I’m glad I haven’t caught it. But some of you probably have it and you need to get rid of it. Stop saying stupid shit!
If you make awkward comments that are inappropriate or border line insulting then this section is for you. You might think what you are saying is funny but no one else will.
#3: You always have a comment
You don’t always have to have a reply or a comment. Sometimes listening is enough. See how this is short and simple. That’s how it needs to be sometimes.
#4: You share too much information
No one cares. Remember earlier, I told you it’s all about you? I wasn’t lying. No one cares about you and the shit going on in your life. Truly, you might think its the biggest deal in the world but other’s probably don’t.
Here’s a tip about sharing information. If you’re going to share then share the good stuff and keep the negative beta stuff to yourself.
#5: You overstay your welcome
Hanging around too long is going to be the death of all your relationships. No when it’s time to go.
- I’m talking about meetings that last too long, because of you.
- I’m talking about hang outs that get awkward, because you won’t leave.
- I’m talking about being a third wheel or an uninvited guess that doesn’t want to leave.
Hints You Need to Know
Everyone gives subtle hints when they are disinterested or annoyed. When this happens its time to change course so you don’t kill any relationships you have.
You might not think you’re annoying. But others might. So it’s important to be able to know how to tell.
People stop looking at you when they talk
A sure sign that people have lost interest in what you are saying. One of the biggest FUs there is, is not looking at a person when they talk to you. And I’m not talking about beta eye contact avoidance. I’m talking about turning your head to look in the opposite direction of you as though you no longer exist.
People are doing other things when you’re still talking to them
If people like you, if they like what you have to say, if they want to listen to you – then they will. But if you are not important to them, they will multitask and do more than one thing while pretending to listen to you.
Their Eyes Show they Aren’t Engaged
- Eyes wandering. Funny looks to other people instead of looking at you. Signs people want you to shut up.
Facial Expressions Show They Are Getting Annoyed
- Deep breathes and blowing out air, curling of the lips, confused or disgusted looks on people’s faces. Time to get a clue!
Answers Become One Word Answers
- If someone was talking to you – like really talking to you. Then their tone becomes dry and dead. They are emotionless and their answers are single word answers. You are no longer on their good side.
The Goal of All of This
The reason why this post was written is because I don’t want you to be the socially awkward guy people can’t wait to get rid of. I want you to be socially aware of your surroundings, including the people.
You need to be able to read people and how they are feeling so you can understand how to engage them and when to stop talking.
The goal here isn’t to know when to shut up. The goal is to build relationships and your network. If you annoy everyone, you will have a very weak network. If you know how to engage people and take hints before it’s too late you will build a strong network.
Learn how to take a hint from other people and you’ll be an insider on developing strong communication skills and a strong network.