There is no secret to discipline or focus or doing what you are supposed to do.
- People can call it what they want.
- There are even terms now like anti distraction or plays on words about distraction.
- People can explain these things any which way they want.
- People seek out solutions. Answers. Motivation. The secret.
- People want to be told what to do. Be guided. Have coaches.
- People will sell you on some magic ways to making you understand something that is very simple.
- That is that you are just not doing what you should be. And you know this.
But why?
Because it is not a habit for you.
You default to doing something else.
This happens when you experience certain things. Things people call triggers or circumstances. Sometimes they are feelings. Sometimes they are moments. Sometimes they are words. Sometimes they are things you see. Sometimes they are things you hear. Or things you think.
And you run to what you are familiar with. What you normally do. The result of whatever came before this.
That’s it.
This is a default behavior. That has been formed over time.
- In the beginning, you were either taught to do something. Or you were replacing something else.
- Maybe it was hard in the beginning. Maybe it was easy. Maybe you don’t remember what caused it.
- But it doesn’t matter. What matters is that, that’s what you do.
I won’t sell you on a solution. Because the solution is free. The solution is you.
You have to force yourself to do something else. The other thing. Maybe it’s the hard thing. The thing you really are resisting. The thing you really want to do. But you run to this other thing instead.
That’s all this is. A cycle. A loop.
And until you force it enough times, consecutively, that the new habit replaces the old, when those moments come up where you default automatically to what you normally do (even if you have second thoughts for a second but succumb to it), then you will keep doing what you are doing.
Normally the best way to fix this is to force it. Just do it. But that’s hard.
So there are tricks that seem to work.
- Consider going to the gym if you never go.
- It’s not fun to go. You don’t feel comfortable going. Eating junk food or being lazy or doing something else with your time seems more enjoyable or a better trade off.
- So what do you do?
- You struggle. You resist. You view it negatively.
- That is how it’s going to be. Accept it.
- But go anyway. For for a few minutes. If you still don’t want to be there leave.
- This is starting small. Same with anything else. Lower the stakes. Lower the action. You don’t have to do everything all at once. But it would be better if you did. Just don’t do what you normally do.
The more times you do this, the more your mind and body start connecting those thoughts, feelings, events, triggers with this new habit instead. The more you are aware of when you default to the things you don’t want to do and why, the easier you will be able to catch yourself when you should do something else.
Like I said. This isn’t easy.
Reading more won’t make it easier. Listening to more people tell you tricks and tips and reasons won’t make it easier. The solution is you.
Know what you do. When you do it. Track it. And resist it. Have something else to do and have it ready so when the time comes, you choose the other thing.
It’s the simple. And also that hard. But you have to keep doing it until your mind decides this is normal and what you should do and you want to do it. Because what you are doing right now is what your mind wants you to do, but obviously you don’t want to do it, otherwise you wouldn’t be reading this.
So whatever it takes. Some people say 21 days to build a new habit or routine. I think it can be faster or slower. It really depends on how bad you want to change, how committed you are, and whether you are able to detach the resistance from the action.
Each time it will take a conscious effort and deliberate choice. First its hard, it will remain hard. It won’t be fun. But trust me if you do it a few more times when you don’t want to, it will begin to be something that you do, not because you always want to but because it begins to be the right thing to do and slowly it becomes a part of who you are. And thus your habit changes. And you change. Hopefully for the better.
Stop feeding the beast the wrong action. You won’t like the medicine because it’s uncomfortable and not what you normally know, but you will appreciate it once it starts to do what it is meant to do. Level you up.
Stop wasting your time. You won’t find the answer in a book or online or anywhere else. The answer is you.
- Know what you have to do.
- Know what you choose to do instead.
- Do what you have to do. Or do nothing instead of the other thing.
- When you stop giving yourself the wrong choice, you start choosing the right choice.
Be bold. Be Alpha. You are the solution.
